Back in business.
I have survived India and came back a changed woman. When people tell you: ‘you need to go to India to understand’. They are right. Please note: having ignored my blog, my excitement to write might make my narrative a little diarrhoetic (had to spell-check that one), I apologise for it and the mental image.
I’m going to start with the Ashram experience. As you may know from my previous entry. I planned to spend a month in a small secluded South Indian Ashram. When planning such a trip fears arise and the best way to get over them is to have a contingency plan. In case anything went wrong with plan A (aka; my fears come true) Plan B would be to motorbike across India, in theory.
Biggest fear #1 was to arrive in India and the whole thing would have been a scam. No Ashram and nowhere to go. I arrived at night in a very busy airport (ps. everywhere in India is busy) and was greeted by a surprised customs agent with an elated: ‘a foreigner!’ I was indeed the only foreigner and stuck out like a sore thumb (ps. you stand out anywhere you go in India). My fears only got worse after the berating line of questioning and suspicious looks about this Ashram’s whereabouts and why I was traveling alone, then I was subsequently released with a ‘good luck’ into the busy sticky night air. I have NEVER been happier to see a sign with my name on it.
Biggest fear #2 was to arrive in a slum, have to bunk with a Ganja smoking, hygienically challenged, parasite infested dreadlock wearing flighty pseudo-vegan and 1 shared dunny (outhouse). It was the complete opposite. The Ashram was a temple; everything about it was absolutely stunning and immaculate. I shared a stately room (with private en suite) with a gorgeous and delightful creature called Ali who looks like a London runway model and has the temperament of mother Theresa. We are now friends for life.
Biggest fear #3 was to be the only sane one there in the midst of a cult like leader and his devoted followers. Again the absolute contrary. The Yogi was a cross between Mahatma Gandhi and Yoda; warm, loving and funny. The other students were just as selfless and grounded as I am, if not more. 2 other girls became my soul mates through this Ashram experience. Vaishali, whom I like to consider my Indian twin or at the very least sister, has the gorgeous looks of a famous Bollywood star with the elegance and fortitude of a warrior goddess. Akiko, whom I would perform harakiri for, has the beauty and fearlessness of a Japanese Amazon and is one of the most intelligent women I know. These 3 women and I will be friends for life.
Our little UN quatro would paint the local towns on our 1 day off a week, dressed like locals and riding around in an auto-rickshaw. Think ‘Sex and the City’ meets Bollywood with a little Ab Fab. I’ve learned quite a lot during those outings and here are my South Indian Survival tips:
Tip #1: Don’t worry about the Indian head wobble you will contract, it is highly contagious and symptom usually occur within 3 days of arrival.
Tip #2: Guide books are wrong, only know half the story or are outdated the minute after they go to print. To find out anything simply ask and ask again, again and again, especially if you were misunderstood or the person was wrong. Don’t be shy; everybody does it, not just tourists.
Tip #3: April-May which is ‘low season’ according to guide books is actually HIGH SEASON for Indians. It is the busiest time to travel in India because it is pre-monsoon, end of school holidays and honeymoon season. Yes it is low season for European travellers, but who cares when 1.25 billion people are on holiday. Trains, Planes, buses and some hotels must be booked months in advance or be prepared to wait in line and modify your travel plans.
Tip #4: Relax, trust and go with the flow. This must be applied to everything in India from road traffic and pedestrian traffic to the bureaucracy and rules in public transport, temples or even while shopping. India is crowded. Think of the most crowded experience you’ve lived through (that includes you Tokyoites) and multiply that by 10 or possibly more. If you hate crowds go to New Zealand, unless you have a fear of sheep.
Overall this Indian Ashram yogic training gave me the best shape of my life, got rid of my gluten intolerance and Insomnia. It is now on my ‘top 10 best things I ever did’ list as opposed to the ‘top 10 worse things I ever did’ (see this or that). I highly recommend India, especially if you are afraid of sheep.
Purple Petticoat 